In early 2001 I had just suffered a huge heart ache when my first real crush had proclaimed nothing would happen between us and that she and her family were moving to Texas at the end of the school year. At the time this was the end of the world. As such I had a weakened emotional state and as such was susceptible to contracting new habits. Now I had for a long time been opposed to the idea of Professional Wrestling. As a child I had watched such performers as the Undertaker, Hulk Hogan, and Jake “The Snake” Roberts and had enjoyed it immensely. However my mom had exposed the business for me by revealing that the matches in pro-wrestling have predetermined outcomes in order to heighten the entertainment value. You’re gonna make me say it aren’t you. Okay! It’s… fake. It was once kept highly secret that wrestling was staged but it is now a widely accepted open secret. However the true nature of the performances are not discussed by the promotion in order to sustain the willing suspension of disbelief. Having revealed this mass conspiracy to me my mom had turned something mildly interesting into something quite stupid. Fast forward to freshman year where I’m in the second stage of the Kübler-Ross Model (Five stages of Grief). I had skipped right by denial and gone straight to anger. It so happens that anger can be satiated by violence and despite it’s entertainment and (dare I say) artistic side Pro Wrestling is a violent passion play. My buddy Jerry was on hand with his wrestling video games to sooth my restless heart and, much to my mother’s chagrin, my pro wrestling fandom was returning.
So my journey as a yarder started with video games and evolved to video tapped wrestling matches on the trampoline (very dangerous do not attempt) and later became more serious when my grandfather and I actually built a ring. It turns out wrestling on a proper ring is much safer than on a trampoline. The Millbrook Wrestling Federation (MWF) became 2 eXtreme Wrestling (2XW) ended in 2005 and later became Elite Wrestling Federation (EWF) after I left. Look’em up on facebook, EWF Millbrook.
So in the final months of 2XW a friend of mine, Justin D. aka Borden, had brought along a family friend from church who had actually promoted indie groups before and was in line to do so again. He evaluated the young men who had carved their wrestling talent along side me and decided a hand full of us were worth something and of the handful two had a marketable look. Those two were David (Dave Century) and Justin B. (Mike Savage). So the two of them were invited along to perform at an actual independent wrestling promotion. I was unable to attend the first show they did but Jerry was there playing security. I made it to the second and despite my tiny stature I too played security. It was at their third show that I finally stepped in the ring myself.
So here we were in this tiny little gym. Folks were making there way in little by little. I was only there to support my boys but I did have my gear with me. David and Justin had fought one on one at both the previous shows. At the second one a masked fellow named Joy Killa had cost Justin his match. So on this night there was to be a tag match in which Century (David) would team with Joy Killa against Savage (Justin) and Showtime. Justin’s girlfriend (and my ex) Katrina and our friend Kevin were there in the crowd to watch. So I was backstage in the tiny hallway we were all crammed into talking to the promoter and the only actual name there. He was a big macho guy who wore a jump suit, colored flames on his head with magic marker, and called himself Death Row.
Now as it turns out another match on the card that night was a guy named Apollo Apocalypse who was supposed to have a squash match with an actual collegiate wrestler. Incase you don’t know a squash match is were one guy completely destroys the other guy with no real difficulty. As luck would have it the “real” wrestler wasn’t going to show so they offered the match to me. I was thrilled and ran out to my truck to grab my gear. There was a slight set back when I discovered I had locked my keys in my car but that situation was overcome and I headed back inside. As I walked into the tiny hallway/dressing room I looked up and at the end of the room there stood a seven foot, five hundred pound black man talking to the promoter.
“Hey, Brent,” says the promoter who is pointing at me, “That’s the guy you’re fighting tonight.” I walked right up to that leviathan, looked up into his eyes, and said, “I’ll try not to hurt ya.” He laughed and we became quick friends. Turns out he was one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever known.
Originally the segment was supposed to be, I come out and rag on pro wrestling as being a fix and that I’m a genuine athlete and I can beat anyone in the building. He comes down, choke slams me, splashes (jumps on) me, and wins. However after we got to talking a bit we discovered we all had ambitions of making this squash match more than it really was. Now the way we had things set up was the faces (good guys) were entering from the right left side of the gym and the heels (bad guys) were entering from the right. Apollo Apocalypse (Brent) had gone out into the crowd to sit with his family whilst he waited for the match. I was hanging out by the face entrance with the other guys. When the time came I ran around to the heel side to get ready. We happened to be an upper card match that night. Actually we were right before the main event. So as I stood there getting into character ol’ Death Row comes walking around bouncing like a Mexican jumping bean and telling me I better get squashed quick. I didn’t say anything since A. There’s kind of a hierarchal system in wrestling with names and vets at the top and yardie’s so far off the bottom it isn’t funny and B. He was kind of a big gorilla. But rest assure I was definatly thinking to myself where he couldn’t hear me, “I’ll get squashed in what time I want.”
My theme music (Raise Up by Saliva) hit and I marched out there head held high over the rest and proceeded to tell everyone wrestling was stupid and I could beat anyone in the building. There was one young lady in particular that seemed quite excited to see me get my ass kicked which meant I was doing my job quite well. When Apollo stood up in the back of the crowd and marched down to the ring the crowd was practically giddy with anticipation at the thought of me getting pounded. Of course I left the ring and tried to run away but the referee told me if I didn’t return I was fired. So I did and attempted to start the match with a knuckle lock. Of course he overpowered me and through me to the ground. So I tried to throw on a hammer lock. He flicked his arm and sent me flying across the ring. Finally I attempted a spear (tackle). I hit him like an egg against a brick wall. So after one last right hook with absolutely no affect, I leapt at the behemoth and was caught in a choke slam. The crowd popped and Apollo jumped up in the air bringing down every last pound on top of me. The bloodthirsty crowd cried out for more and I was met with yet another bone crushing splash. The referee helped me out with the crowd cheering at my misfortune. When I exited the gym Death Row was still bouncing around like frog. But when I got back around to where the other guys were I was met with gasps of shock and awe. No, I in fact was not injured and yes, I was in fact awesome. I had turned what was written as a squash match into a pretty successful segment.
Months later I was invited back by the same promoter to have an actual match again my buddy Mike Savage (Justin). We arrived to find the show had been canceled without notice. Truth be told the guy running the show was kind of unreliable. Anyway I had had my brush with performing for a large crowd and I was bitten by the bug. It lasted a month or two longer until the stress of running the 2XW shows got the better of me and I conspired with a few others to burn our ring to the ground. Oh, well time and tide I suppose.
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